Auditions terrify me to the bone.
Like I think I’m fine. Vibing, thriving, 10/10. Sitting there waiting for my turn, casually judging people, you know the whole nine yards. I even think I’m fine as I stand up to take my spot on stage. But then you get up there and people are looking at you. And you begin regretting all of your life choices, but mainly that that I didn’t bring sunglasses because good god, those lights are blinding.
And I think I went there and said words??? Honestly could not tell you what all happened?? Maybe a monologue?? Don’t know, but it was scary. Only having to do video auditions spoiled me in the last year. I forgot all the the anxiety and sweating and panicking parts.
At least it worked out in the end, I’m in the show! No tears or throwing things on my behalf today, thank you.
Big thank you to Netgalley, along with the author and publisher for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This did not affect my opinions in any way.
Book: If This Gets Out
Author: Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich
Release: December 7th 2021 by Wednesday Books
homophobia, parental abuse, consumption of drugs and alcohol
Eighteen-year-olds Ruben Montez and Zach Knight are two members of the boy-band Saturday, one of the biggest acts in America. Along with their bandmates, Angel Phan and Jon Braxton, the four are teen heartbreakers in front of the cameras and best friends backstage. But privately, cracks are starting to form: their once-easy rapport is straining under the pressures of fame, and Ruben confides in Zach that he’s feeling smothered by management’s pressure to stay in the closet.
On a whirlwind tour through Europe, with both an unrelenting schedule and minimal supervision, Ruben and Zach come to rely on each other more and more, and their already close friendship evolves into a romance. But when they decide they’re ready to tell their fans and live freely, Zach and Ruben start to truly realize that they will never have the support of their management. How can they hold tight to each other when the whole world seems to want to come between them? (from Goodreads)
I— I don’t even know where to start on this one. Because wowza, it was everything I could have possibly wanted. Here is a comprehensive list of my thoughts that are in no particular order…
1. Rom-com my ass
2. But also it was SO GOOD?????????
3. Feelings, on the maximum
4. SO MUCH MUTUAL ANGST
5. The band. Goodbye, my heart.
6. The peacocks… i can’t even
7. CALE AND SOPHIE YOU DID NOT (they very much did)
8. Geoff can suck my toes. Go to hell.
Maybe not the most critical of lists, but I think it captures the essence of my reading experience, you know?? As for the “getting critical” bit, let’s get down to business.
Ok. Um. Wow. First off I want to say that I am absolutely BLOWN AWAY??????? I mean, I was hoping for greatness and boy did it deliver. Expectations 13, April 5. Take that!!!
If I were reviewing vibes alone, it would be a 5/5. I mean, let’s be real I’m here for the vibes and the vibes only. I devoured this book in one day and felt emotionally wrecked after finishing it. Happiness, internal screaming, external screaming, crying, more screaming, and then after it all a general feeling of satisfaction.
And then came the overwelming urge to reread it. (Don’t worry, I stayed strong. The reread is coming later lol.) And to close off the reading experience, we have the stewing of thoughts and basking in the glory. (Please think of the stewing process as my mind being a giant fish bowl with thoughts starring as fish and the stewing being the crusty water.) (I don’t really know why that visualisation was necessary, but it kind of adds to the atmosphere I guess???)
I would have loved a bit more resolution. The ending wasn’t necessarily sudden by any means, but I could have used a bit more.
Building on to that, I would have liked for a couple of more fluffy moments. Given the circumstances, sure, get why it isn’t there. But I could have gone for a bit more high notes within the story. I think it could have upped the stakes of the relationship a touch more and made readers more invested. But then again, I was ridiculously invested either way sooo
And lastly, but most certainly not least, the exploration of abuse within the music industry was really well done. Honestly, it is the foundation that holds the whole book together. Don’t let the gorgeous cover and promises of romance in the synopsis fool you, liquid emotion will be seeping out of your eye sockets by the end.
The whole plotline with the management conflict was handled with great depth. Seeing all the members of the band — but especially Zach and Ruben — grapple with their situation was truly heartbreaking. It was kind of like a new before seen, behind the scenes, exposed sort of energy to it that made the whole book really special.
Y’all. This is a must read. Dual pov, the perfect balance of heartbreaking and hilarious, all while keeping you craving more of these loveable idiots. You know that you need it in your life. And there are peacocks that just make a causal appearence!!! So cool.
Is If This Gets Out on your tbr?? What else is new and exciting??