I’ve adopted a cat.
Well. Actually. It’s a lion. More like a picture of a lion?? On the internet. But still, I have adopted a cat. To some extent at least. His name is Sparky and he likes eating plums and main characters for breakfast.
I was planning on posting an arc review today, but um, obviously that did not happen. Instead I will be determining whether or not the main characters from my most recent reads would survive against my new pet cat (read: lion).
I’m continuing my legacy of animals on the blog as well as ignoring real life responsibilties. Truly the best combination. Let’s hop right in.
Anne from Anne of Green Gables… sorry you’re lion chow
Anne is basically the definition of lion bait. The girl is basically a walking come eat me sign. You know, with her red hair and allergy to shutting up. Can’t see her surviving, sorry.
Nora the Girls I’ve Been… the lion should fear her
Ok so this girl is capable. She is really quick on her feet and generally a badass. I have no doubt that she could whip up a quick scheme sandwich to avoid getting eaten by the lions.
In the battle with the lion, I can see two options:
- Nora disguises herself as a lion with a really convincing wig and they become bffs. They chill in the jungle eating bugs or whatever lions do.
- Nora arm wrestles the lion. And wins. Obviously.
Marty from As Far As You’ll Take Me… depends on the lion’s musical taste
Ok sooo is it just me or do lions strike you as trumpet fans?? Like lion’s definitely aren’t into the strings (their claws would stred the strings). And woodwinds? Why make a weak shrill noise with an insurement when you could get the All Jungleian Roar. Through process of musical elmination, I feel like that makes them trumpet fans. Don’t ask me why, it just makes sense.
So if Marty pulls out his oboe he either pisses the lion off and Marty becomes dinner OR the lion runs off in a fit of fury because oboes are annoying and sound like dying geese. I’ll give Marty a 50/50 shot at survival.
Tori from Solitaire… is a cat person
Tori is a cat person, therefore would not be eaten by a lion.
Voya from Blood Like Magic… *panic*
Voya wouldn’t know what to do so she would just stand there in indecision and let the lion eat her.
I honestly think that if I were a main character, I too would be lion chow. But it was fun while it lasted. Anyway. That’s it for todays post. Lions *said with jazz hands*
Do you think you could face a lion and survive?? What about the characters from your most recent reads??
That was certainly interesting!😁
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ahaha thank you so much!!!
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🙂
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haha i love this post, it’s so unique!! anne would DEFINITELY get eaten by lions (but also create the most beautiful story out of it LOL)
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ahaha thank you so much Kaya!! right???? girl is basically walking lion bait, but i have no doubt that she would come back and tell her tragical tale in spirit or something haha
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I think I would be lion chow too….and most of the characters form my recent reads as well, even though I can’t recall a single name right now.
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haha to be fair, i think most people (and characters!) would be lion chow lol
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Love the mini zoo you are aiming to creat on your blog haha!!
I would…umm…try to run…but I am sure I wouldn’t survive a lion for more than 2.347 seconds (oopsie just wrote my math exam 10 minutes back so hungover)
Roaar roar!! (Translates to: Have a lovely day!) (I should use lion speak more often)
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thank you. creating this mini zoo is my higher purpose here in the blogosphere lol
ha i love how specific that number is (oof, hope you can recover from that exam hangover swiftly)
oh my god i’m dying rn ROAR ROAR RARRRRRRRR (which translates to thank you Rachel!! you’re lion is impeccable)
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This is SUCH a specific post, I love it! I feel like I could best a lion, but tbh I wouldn’t want to. Worse ways to go than feeding an endangered (I think????) species.
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haha thank you!! ooo yesss a very fair point. plus i hear main characters are highly nutritious
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This was so funny 😂 Aaaaand no, I wouldn’t survive. I can barely face a cat and make it out alive sooooooooo
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haha thank you!! me either, but yeah that doesn’t sound promising in the lion battle lol
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This was such an amusing post! Also, do share the photo of your cat sometime!!
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haha thank you so much Riddhi!! ha maybe i will… someday
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This post is hilarious omg, I am very curious if a lion would eat me now (yes)
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ahhh thank you so much!! ah same, the lion would eat me in a heartbeat
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hah, i definitely wouldn’t survive a lion- i barely have the guts to pet our neighbor’s dog (everything on four legs is a threat to my life lmao). this was so hilarious tho, and your graphics are *chef’s kiss*
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haha that is fair. can’t say i’m a huge dog person either (tramatic childhood dog encounter, what can i say). thank you so much, i’m glad you enjoyed!!
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This is genius and I wholeheartedly agree with Nora from TGIB! Also…April wtf haha how do you even come up with these ideas? Love it
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ahaha glad to hear you agree with Nora. idk i feel like Nora could probally take a whole litter of lions if she wanted to. overcaffination and boredom is my secret recipe, what can i say
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Hahahha, this is so you! I love your posts — they’re so creative xD
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haha thank you. if i have an internet legacy, i want it to be weird posts like this one haha. thanks a million and happy reading : )
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omg completely agree with nora – lmaoo i’m still in awe of her brain 😭 also idk if i would survive, i would probably go closer to take a picture, and forget my flash is on, accidentally blinding the lion, and then i would run for my life. love this post!!!! 💕
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haha glad you hear you agree with that one!! right?? like girl is basically a genius. would pay money to be friends with her. that is oddly specific haha. fingers crossed you can run fast enough!! thank you so much ❤
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HAHA this was hilarious … i’m even more excited to read the girls i’ve been now lol great post
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ahh thank you so much Cherelle!! gah it is such a good one, glad my lions could help give it some hype it deserves : )
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Aww. This is an interesting post. Loved it..!
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thank you so much!!
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You are most welcome!!😊
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