33 Thoughts I Had While Reading Shipped // Review(ish)

oy! long time no see. well not see per say… more like long time no type talk?? idk, it’s not as catchy so i’m sticking with the original lol.

before we start, fair warning i wrote this intro on my phone. the lack of capitalization is an artisitc CHOICE and i will not be taking critism at this time. thank you.

anyway. yesterday was my first day of junior year. which was, um, interesting.

dear god. you know you’re in for a treat when your first period teacher looks at your class dead in the eyes and says “this will be the worst year of your life.” UM SIR???? Can we at least pretend to be positive for a hot sec??? no?? ok. fine. let’s just go right into the moody cat negativity routine. at least the teacher’s voice was strangely meditative??? 

and this lovely tidbit of joy was after getting ready for the first day of school with a power outage. which is such a blast by the way. having no hot water to get ready in the morning is my villain origin story. AND IN THE DARK. fair warning for when i pull up tomorrow with a scowl and menacing cackle, that’s why.

whatever. put that aside. all my teachers were nice. i recognized some faces. school went on. looking forward to napping all weekend. and avoiding doing my ap stats by reading depressing books.

idk i’m just stressed and tired and donel. my mind feels like it has been run over by a moderately sized tractor and we haven’t even started learning stuff yet. I think i need some time to just chill my biscuit this weekend. emotional support bagels are also on the agenda. and reading. 

cool. so there is that. in the midst of all the end of summer/beginning of school shenanigans, i haven’t had much time to write stuff. we went on a bit of an adventure into the unknown depths of google drive (*cue into the unknown for dramatic effect*). and found this hot mess lovely review. let’s hop in.

Book: Shipped

Author: Meredith Tate

Published May 18th 2021 by G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers

Format: library book

content warnings

discussion of harassment in fandom

1. Page 11 and girl already called herself “quirky”
2. Please sir, you did not just compare going to Colombia instead of Stanford to being a child being forced into arranged marriages in the 1500s????? was that necesary??? really?????
3. i have a really bad feeling about this
4. Come on if you’re going to hate each other, at least have good banter
5. why is the texting SO STALE
   • Honestly Counting Down With You and Dating Makes Perfect are the only two books that have gotten it right. If y’all know of any more, I will pick it up based on that fact alone.
6. Now is not the time for a god complex, please calm down
7. Oh good god she just called her sister “a hot mess with no future”
8. ma’am—
9. This book can’t decide if it wants to be a younger YA or an older YA, but it needs to DECIDE
   • UPDATE: ok so this sounded really confusing when I went back and reread this. I guess what I meant is sometimes you can tell if the target age group if for older or younger teens. YA is a pretty wide age category, so I guess it makes sense. When differentiating between the two, I mostly base it on the age of the characters and the language they use (and maybe a small dose of vibes). For example, I’d classify Geekerella as younger YA, but More than Maybe as older YA. idk if that makes sense, but it does in my head soo. Point is, there is a weird confusion-fusion going on here and I do not vibe.
10. I’m realizing i really hate stories about college applications/decisions… the second hand stress is IMMENSE
11. We get it, you “need” to be valedictorian bleh bleh bleh
12. Ugh
13. Im bored. But not bored enough to do personal finance over this sooo here we are
14. Peanut butter on top of strawberry ice cream is a sin
    • Unrelated to the book, but ice cream made me think of it. Someone pulled up to the ice cream shop and ordered mint and pineapple???? I have never been more terrifed of a human being in my life.
15. Rats are not cute and i cannot be convinced
16. petition to ban all bad nicknames… seriously who thinks this is cute????
17. stop acting like literal 12 year olds
18. ugh
19. idk i’m just getting weird vibes
20. my eyes will physically roll out of my head soon. how are they 18??? seriously how???????????
21. not the “nice guy” routine.
22. depth, where???
23. what a jerk
24. ugh ugh ugh 
25. SHUT UP DUDE
26. STICK IS A HORRIFYING NICKNAME, MAKE IT STOP
27. thank god Bridget gave that girl a reality check. Finally someone is stepping up and acting like a mature human being instead of an angry chiwawa throwing a hissy fit.
28. UGH
29. idk how i’m supposed to leave this book liking either of the characters?? they are both insufferable
30. but especially wesley
31. i very much hate wesley 
32. the ending is not satisfying at all????? i feel nothing
33. i did not enjoy the reading experience. at all.

Ok, I feel really bad for being so aggressive. There was potential? I mean, academic rivals to lovers is a favorite trope of mine. But sadly, this just didn’t deliver. Everything was flat. Like a pancake. But not a delicious pancake, the pancake that has been sitting in the bottom of your backpack and smells like feet. The characters lacked depth, the writing was not a vibe, and everyone acted like 12 year olds trapped in the bodies of 18 year olds. Not my favorite.

Have you read Shipped? What did you think?? Are you starting school soon?? Or currently in session? How’s it all going??